Against arranged marriage?

by Jayeeta Mazumder

Lavanya Saran, 24, was enjoying her Sunday afternoon with a book and a cup of coffee for later. She got a call right then; it was her mum asking her to come home because they had arranged another meeting with another boy. She listened and hung up. She got home an hour later, her head shaved. “I had been telling my parents I didn’t want to get married because I wanted to study; they ignored all my pleas. I had no other choice,” recalls Lavanya. “My mother cried that evening, but she understood my point later.”
Lavanya is not the only one who feels the need to rebel against this system. For Arpita Shah, arranged marriage comes with a lot of baggage. “I believe love must happen naturally, organically,” she says. “Marriage is the longest commitment you will make. I don’t want to get into it with someone I met online or through ‘well-meaning’ relatives. I want to be married to a man I love. I want to be able to tell my kids a story when they ask me how I met their dad.”

Being stubborn 
So what exactly makes most of us fight the idea of arranged marriage? Behavioural expert Dr Hemant Mittal has a logical explanation. Arranged marriages, he says, are often seen as a sign of desperation by our society. “For many, arranged marriages seem illogical,” he says. “The choices made on face-value, bio-datas and recommendations by matchmakers bring a lot of fear and they put you at a risk of incompatibility.”

Counsellor Dr Rajan Bhonsle feels that for a lot of youngsters, family often symbolises a conservative value system. “More and more women are rejecting arranged marriage proposals because they want to live life on their own terms. But often in these cases, I have discovered a sort of rigidity in the older generation and a rebellious streak in the next.”

The counsellors also admit that the urban lifestyle takes a toll on the need to forge new relationships. Mounting pressures at work mean little social life—there is very little time to even seek out a partner. And it’s not like you can pick up an interesting (or eligible) guy at a bar.

Prarthana Mohan, 32, who opted for an arranged marriage, couldn’t agree more. She feels an arranged marriage is exciting in more ways than one. “The best part about an arranged set-up is the fact that you only need to analyse your compatibility levels, everything else—from a background check to their social standing—is taken care of by your family. And the rest is up to you and how you work it out between yourselves, which is true of love marriages too.” Every marriage has a story—it’s just about finding yours.



Filed in: News, Relationship & Family, Stop Violence Against Women

Leave a Reply

Submit Comment

Confirm that you are Human *

© 2019 Giant Comfort. All rights reserved. XHTML / CSS Valid.
Powered By GiantComfort.