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Dating Tips: Where Do You Draw the Line in a Relationship?

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Relationships can be messy, and whoever said it was easy was lying! After all, relationships need maintenance, and take two people who are totally committed to making it work. Yes, there are a few sacrifices and adjustments you might have to make in the process, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Accepting your partner’s flaws and changing some of your own ways to make him happy seems to come easy when you love someone. So how do you do that without losing your own identity? Where do you draw the line?

Women are experts at adjustment and have been trained at it their whole life. Sadly, that’s often the cause of many relationship issues. While compromise is okay, you must know where to draw the line.

 

Here are four simple rules that will help you hold your individuality, while you keep your relationship healthy and alive.

1. Don’t give up who you are: Sure it’s normal to start liking football or become a regular at the gym thanks to your boyfriend, but if he’s constantly nagging you about your weight or telling you to turn vegetarian, then he probably needs to be with someone else.

“After four years of dating my ex-boyfriend and doing everything to please him, I landed up losing my identity and had no true friends left either,” says Salima Nathani, who learnt how to draw the line the hard way. Remember, a partner who expects you to change who you are is not worth your time and effort. If he loves you, he will love you for who you are.

2. Learn to say no: When you are in a relationship, physical intimacy is inevitable, but what if you aren’t ready yet? The answer is simple: Say NO!

Dr. Pavan Sonar, a relationship counsellor says, “Many women indulge in sexual activity even though they aren’t ready for fear of losing their partner. But I would advise them to take things slow and not be afraid to tell their partner they aren’t ready yet.” If you aren’t comfortable with a physical relationship yet, convey this clearly your partner. If it’s love and not just lust, your man will definitely understand and be willing to wait.


3. Have your own life: 
It’s important to have your own life and not be overly dependent on your partner.

You must be able to do things on your own. Whether it’s finances, friends or hobbies, devote time to things that are exclusively yours. Have a sleepover with your girlfriends, work a job and save your own money, pursue a hobby or take up a class in French or salsa. Having your own life will make you a more independent and more likeable person too.


4. Don’t struggle to work things out:
 No matter how good-looking and rich he is or how much youlove him, sometimes relationships are just not meant to be. So if you feel like you are constantly struggling to keep things on track and going to extra mile to make up after a fight with no effort from him, it’s time to back off. The last thing you want to be is a doormat.
“If you’ve done every bit to make things work but to no avail, stop living in a dream world. Give your relationship two to three months, and if things don’t improve, call it quits,” Dr. Sonar advises.

Drawing certain lines is necessary for every relationship. So go ahead; do that and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself!

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Filed in: News, Relationship & Family

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