Guys: How to Tell Whether You are in Love (Or in Lust) with Her

By Guest Contributor AskMen.com, iVillage

Love and lust are inextricably intertwined. Lust is ground zero for hormones — it’s nature’s way of bringing the opposite sexes together to mate. In fact, without lust, it’s doubtful that love between a man and a woman would have a chance to prosper at all.

The driving force of the sexual imperative bridges the gap between the almost incompatible brain styles of the two sexes. So lust can be seen as one end of a broad continuum, which may or may not culminate in romantic love. And love is the most ennobling of human emotions — transcendental, exalted and capable of engendering emotional states that can make the male of the species “want to be a better man.” Men fight wars over lust, but they make homes and families for love.

So how can you tell the difference between lust and love? Here are a few tips to help you sort things out.

It’s Love: You find her beautiful. Even if you catch her with no makeup on and her hair pulled back while she’s unclogging a toilet, she still looks beautiful to you.

It’s Lust … when you’re totally focused on her looks and body. And that’s kind of it.

It’s Love: You want to spend time with her. All you want to do is to be with her, whether you’re intimate or not. Even if she tells you that sex will have to wait, you don’t care.

It’s Lust: You don’t care about anything she has to say. You are only interested in the physical aspect of the relationship. And if she asks you for a favor, you tell her you’re too busy.

It’s Love: You see a future together. You experience the strange feeling that your life would be totally empty without her. It becomes very important to you that your parents like her, and that she gets along with everyone close to you. You’re even thinking about marrying her.

It’s Lust: You only want to be with her to ”hook up.” It wouldn’t make a difference to you if you never had a conversation with her. Furthermore, you don’t bother to return her calls promptly and you can easily go for days without talking to her.

It’s Love: You include her in all of your plans. Whether you’re going out with your male friends or taking your dog for a walk, you want her there with you. And if she’s not there, you can’t get her off your mind and sneak off to give her a quick “I miss you” phone call. Of course, you don’t tell your buddies.

It’s Lust: When she is the one you call at 1 a.m. — after your real date ends.

It’s Love: You have great chemistry. You get lost in your conversations, and the hours pass like minutes. You’re more than willing to listen to her when she talks about her day. The chemistry between you is remarkable.

Have you ever thought lust was actually love?

More at iVillage:

6 Things Men Enjoy That Might Surprise You


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Filed in: News, Relationship & Family

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